Summer Jamz: "The Thespian" - Alesana

I've been all over the angry rock, this is such a beautiful addition. A few days ago I introduced Alesana's newest album "Confessions", the third album in a trilogy about Annabelle Lee. Well this song is from the first album in the trilogy and this song is A M A Z I N G. Once again, Shawn Mike's voice illuminates and uplifts me into the clouds with this beautiful song about Annabelle's killer (I won't say anything beyond that) The Thespian. The video is a bit chilling and leaning towards racist (I have no clue if Dennis is supposed to be in black face or just dirty but wtf...) but the lyrics and story line will have you begging for so much more. If you haven't, I strongly encourage you to go get The Emptiness, A Place Where the Sun Is Silent and Confessions or make a playlist with all of them in order by album and track then listen to it either sober or high (I recommend high ayyye). It will blow your metal fucking mind!!!

The things you find online...

I decided I was going to blog about slang terms for masturbation because I love words and euphemisms. I love it when people are clever and witty and even more so can tell me where the origin of those words and turns of phrases they use come from. I also thought it would be a great way to keep National Masturbation Month fun and interesting but what I got was a whole bunch of sadness and sexism.

Of course I used the google machine because I'm still considered a millennial and research is a drag if I don't have to do it. And of course I stumbled on Urban Dictionary: the best and worst place to get what's hip, dope and happening with the kids these days. While sometimes I find it quite helpful when looking up things like yolo and U.N.E.N.O., it also functions like an actual dictionary with multiple definitions and example sentences (I wonder how parents haven't found this yet). It really is something special. When it works...

But it's also very telling of our up and coming generations in regards to what they value, what they're learning form/teaching each other, how far we've come in social justice, social agency and equity. It's so fascinating that I can look up something as simple as 'slang terms for masturbate' and get all of that from a google result. My find, you ask?

I am so sad for the world you guys... 

At first I was amused and my inner teenage self was already formulating ways to either work these phrases into conversations or manufacture conversation in which these phrases would be my responses (my inner child is aged between 12 to 17 years old). It included the classics like choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, bopping the bologna, cleaning your rifle, fisting your mister, polishing the rocket, just to name a few. 

You're probably reveled up in laughter or really highly pissed (or ambivalent, I don't know your life!) Either way, what's disturbing about all these phrases is that they're all referring to a penis being involved in some manner. It doesn't take a scientist to point out the phallic symbolism here... 

So basically what I got from this search is that only those who have penis's can/should/do masturbate. 

What prompted this was my sister writing "flick the bean" underneath my initial blog about masturbation. That phrase is kinda funny but it's still indicative to only a certain type of person with a specific set of genitalia. One of the main reasons certain actions and behaviors are frowned upon has a lot to do with the language we use surrounding it coupled with our knowledge and understanding of that behavior or activity. Beneath all these lovely (and by lovely I mean WHATTHEFUCKINGFUCK) terms were examples on how one masturbates. Brace yourself, this could get ugly: 

Definition 8: 

MEN: to slowly (or quickly) rub your penis until white stuff appears. Feels really good. 

WOMEN: to rub your vagina or clitoris. 

You can use dildos and vibrators, too. 

Takes longer than men

Do it in private please!

...

First of all: NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE

Reading these definitions were painful as hell. To know that there's some kid somewhere reading this somewhere believing this to be fact and telling their friends... And kids these days have SO MUCH ACCESS TO THE INTERNET with no advisory!!!!

One of the definitions even said that doing it too much causes heart attacks. C'MON! I just blogged about this.

Secondly, why so much transphobia?! I don't expect these kids to know any better but why hasn't people at least started teaching the basics about gender? NOT ALL MEN HAVE PENISES AND NOT ALL WOMEN HAVE VAGINAS. I just want to yell this in the face of so many people... If only they know the damage they were doing by perpetuating these kinds of conversations. I would've been totally fine with just basic instructions, gender aside. Not only men and women are looking up masturbation in search of how to get their feel good on. People also don't't get on the computer to be met with ignorance and hate speech but whatever, I'm fucking drunk... 

Third, can we talk about these instructions? "Rub your vagina or clitoris"? 

Allow me to take y'all to health class real quick... 

Do you see where that line is pointing that says vagina? Why would you rub that knowing there's something made for your pleasure? L I T E R A L L Y. I mean sure, rub whatever feels good to you but I went to nursing school and we talked about the clitoris for a bit. The clitoris is literally a bundle of nerves that serves no other purpose than to send pleasure censors throughout the body. DO NOT RUB YOUR VAGINA. There's also a huge misconception that all of what's being displayed in this image is called the vagina. CORRECTION. It's called a vulva and it consists of your vaginal opening. Even if there were only men and women in the world, we're still teaching the wrong shit...

Best part of that entire tutorial was the "takes longer than men" tidbit. Stop... I just actually cannot anymore... Here's a little something I scooped from Brown University's Health promotion: 

"You may have heard that it takes a lot longer for women to reach orgasm than it does for men. This is not entirely true. During masturbation, women and men reach orgasm in very similar amounts of time. On average, women reach orgasm in a little less than four minutes. For men the average time is between two and three minutes. The difference in the time it takes women and men to reach orgasm during foreplay and vaginal intercourse is greater. On average, it takes women 10-20 minutes to reach orgasm. Men reach orgasm after 7-14 minutes overall, but average two to three minutes after beginning intercourse."(educate yoself!)

Basically there's no difference in the time it takes for one to reach orgasm as it relates to gender. It honestly varies from person to person and your level of know-how. Mixed with a slew of other things but I digress. Really what's different is the muscles involved so please stop saying this. 

If I had to take the wildest of guesses I would say our author of this fine tutorial is identified as white, cisgender man, maybe doesn't actually know what's going on down there but...

...that is absolutely not my place to say or assume... 

All in all, let's start a new fun way of expressing this term. What I came across wasn't all bad. I saw manual override, teasing the weasel, walking the dog (which may or may not be problematic) and corking the bat. We don't have to come up with anything new and fun or anything to mask and cover what we do with ourselves. What I'm saying is that if we're going to continue this trend, why not reel some people in? Not shame them, tell them where to do it, how to do, what parts go where and all that. Do it how you feel, do it safely or don't do it at all. 

You, Ultimi Silicone do not in fact vibe...

I don’t normally purchase toys online. I prefer to go to the store, have the store rep put batteries in it and turn it on, place it against the sensitive part of my inner arm and say “It has multiple speeds ranging from low, medium and holy shit.” So needless to say I was excited when I bought my first vibrator online a few weeks ago.

Ultimi Silicone Vibe 

I’m in college, president of my sorority's chapter and a student organization. In both, I hold several officer positions and sit on several different committees as well as a part of a poly family that demands a huge chunk of my time. Between delegating, organizing, panel discussions, studying, snuggling, mediating and remembering I need food, I get really stressed. I was sure the Ultimi silicone vibe would be a quick and easy way to relief.

I have never been more wrong.

First of all, the packaging makes this toy difficult to get to.

Like most wasteful companies in the U.S., they put this small 10x2 box inside of giant bubble wrap inside of a bigger box. So when they delivered it and I wasn’t home, they couldn’t leave it in the mailbox. Now I understand that they’re being considerate and all that but this toy was literally super cheap. I wouldn’t lose sleep if someone stole it… Truth be told, they wouldn’t have use for it. But I had to go to the post office, wait in line, deal with passive aggressive post women who apparently hate their job, sign off on it just to get it home. Only to find out that batteries weren’t included (not that I was expecting it but it also didn’t say so on the box or the website).

Secondly, I finally acquire batteries, right? I get home early from hanging with the poly family and I’m ready to get down. And I go all out when I have self sexy time. I take an extra long theraputic shower, burn oils, play my favorite slow jams (usually "In the dark" by Omarion. It's a nostalgia thing...), get my favorite porn queued up (for inspiration if I need it), you know, the works. I turn the vibrator on and can barely feel the vibrations.

What’s annoying about this is that it has 10, you read right T E N, different speeds but you can’t feel any of them! I had to position it just right to get the sensation necessary and when I did, I had to press it down. Which bothers me because personally, when I have to do that it makes my climax feel forced, like a bodily reaction to stimuli instead of 'wow that was awesome'. I mean I finish but it’s not earth shattering. And if it’s not earth shattering, what’s the point?? 

GO HARD OR GO HOME Ultimi. I don’t want to feel like I’m having sex with a novice so why would I psyche myself out???

And on top of ALL of that, 7 out of the 10 speeds are U S E L E S S. It’s various pulses and speeds but they do nothing but trick my vagina. I can appreciate a tease but a trick? No. I like hard constant speeds that increases in intensity. I barely like it when someone is going down on me and switches the rhythm their tongue was moving. Don't get me wrong, different rhythms aren't always bad but they are literally sporadic they don't work together towards the greater good that is my pleasure.

It is sleek and waterproof. It also gets the job done if mediocrity is your thing. But I will not be recommending this to anyone I know. 2 stars out of 5 Utimi. 

DO BETTER.

Summer Jamz: "Stay with us" - Seoul

I first heard this feel good tune in the back seat of my sorority sister's car. We had just completed som offical business that needed to be conducted foreverand I was feeling hella accomplished. It was just the turn of Spring here in New Orleans, the sun was out, the leaves were colorful and I was so happy to be kissed by the sun after the winter had kicked my ass. I don't know much about Seoul, but when I hear this song, I immidiately cheer up. Make this your summer anthem for all the good feels. It's an awesome pick me up when you feel like doo doo. Listen here and experience the magic.

Summer Jamz: "Puppeteer" - Alesana

Time to switch it up. My close friends know of my days as an emo kid with a scene grindcore edge... I still exist in that space from time to time, maybe with not as much currency as I used to have given that my hair isn't straight and colorful anymore and I dress like a skank on most days. Either way, I still enjoy the album release of my favorite hardcore bands and if you get me to a show, I'm the first one in the pit. My favorite band to listen to when I'm feeling angsty (or just whenever) is Alesana. This Sounth Carolina hardcore screamo band (if you wanna be a dick about it) is on their 5th or 6th album and it's fucking beautiful. It's the third album in the chilling trilogy about Edgar Allen Poe's poem about a woman named Annabelle. I'd tell you all of it but then you wouldn't find out for yourself... Alesana tells the most amazing stories in a beautifl way that will get all that anguish out of you. Start with my favorite song "Puppeteer". There's just something so magical about front man Shawn Mike's voice... I'm legit listening to it now and I want to freaking cry... But don't listen to me fangirl. GO LISTEN.

Photo journal: Some more sads and some happys

Check out my tumblr for the artsy fart version

Photo journal: the sad chronicles

I've had a real bad case of the sads so I decided to take pics of it. Or part of it when I didn't like like total poop.

Be sure to keep up with my tumblr to catch these updates in real 

Summer Jamz: "Time Travel" - Daley

I'm loving Daley and everything he puts out... This song puts me so deep into my feels. I love it. Fun fact: Daley is not only a singer but a song writer, plays piano and keyboard. He came on the scene co-writing for Gorillaz (I FUCKIN LOVE GORILLAZ) and is now touring and doing his own thing. Amazing. I fall in love with his voice every time. Don't take my word for it, check this out.

10 reasons you should masturbate this May (and forever)

It's here! It CAME. 
And it's B E A U T I F U L. 
(YES that happened!)

Many of you know that I'm in school persuing my goal to become a sex educator and safe sex demonstrator. With that, I took a class on human sexuality and I chose to do a project on masturbation (named female masturbation but y'all know how I feel about that...). That being said, I'm going to share all the details to ensure some happy alone time. Or at least try to encourage you to start..

There's plenty of scientific studies that prove masturbation has healthy benefits for the body. It varies from better orgasms to natural remedies!

When I did my research for my project, I got my data from Mary Roach, author of "Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex". She put her focus on this masturbation device intended for people with vaginas. It's the Eros Clitoral Therapy Device. It's small, about the size of a palm, that's intended to improve sexual responses. Apparently people pay between $300-$400 to cure their sexual dysfunction but this blog is free -ish (it'll only cost you you're time!) so read ahead and be inspired to love yourself. 

I'm awful, yes I'm aware.  

Fun facts about masturbating you may or may not know and you don't have to have a vagina to benefit*:

1. It lowers Stress - orgasms release the "cuddle" hormone or oxytocin which are tiny happy messages sent from your brain all over your body giving you all the good feeling feels. While it may not be a cure all at the moment, you'll find that the more you masturbate, the more you can keep your stress levels lower.
2. It lowers risk of heart disease - insert something sciencey here. I don't have the secrets but scientists have linked lower rates of heart disease in people who get down with themselves more often than those who do not. Maybe is has something to do with the exercise you give your heart when you hit that finish line? (FUN FACT: having sex twice a week reduces risk of heart attack ayyyye get ya freak on ;p)
3. It lowers risk of prostate cancer - Though frequent masturbating in young people identified male can actually increase the risk of early prostate cancer, frequent masturbating later in life lowers the risk of getting prostate cancer. The age bracket is a bit unfair, for it only lowers risk in individuals above the age of 50. But, there's still some benefits young guys! Just dial it back a bit...
4. It lowers risk of endometriosis - now while I don't have the specifics of this fact, I do know a bit about the walls of a uterus (2ND FUN FACT: I went to nursing school for two years). Masturbation is actually a good way to alleviate menstrual cramps and the pain from endometriosis in general. There's several articles and studies negating that but I like to think it's a way to perpetuate anti-masturbation narratives. Especially because the one I read while doing the resaerch for this blog started off by saying that masturbation for females is immoral and shady. No article writer, YOU'RE shady! But I digress... Do some research for yourself and find out what's comfortable and what works for you.   
5. It can help with insomnia - I don't need to be entirely scientific and academic to convince you that the big 'O' will zap you out quick fast and in a hurry... but it case you need the backing, here is a little read for you to help with those sleepless nights. 
6. It helps you achieve orgasms during intercourse - because you've tapped into those pleasure centers (no pun in intended.. maybe a little bit) your body is able to respond differently now that those wheels are churning. AND not only does it help with orgasms, it improves lubrication which is needed to achieve orgasm. So you get more aroused and wetter sooner. See, you're already half way there!   
7. Generally you live longer - see all the things listed previously. Happiness and good health sounds like a recipe to live longer if I ever heard one...
8. It can help with spinal chord injuries (stops muscle spasticity up to 6 hours!) - this is actually pretty clutch. In her research, Roach spoke with some physicians that told her that there was a significant change in the spasticity of the patients muscles after orgasm. WHAT!? That shit cray...
9. Cure for hiccups - Roach also got some info on this. I've never done it personally but WHAT. Mind = blown. I'm not sure how I could keep in the groove if my chest keeps jumping but...it's worth a shot! No?

10. But the most important fact about masturbating is that it's safe! There are plenty of resources to ensure a fun time with yourself. Solo fun is a great way to keep babies and disease off the menu. Not in a creepy abstinence only kinda way but more of a if-you-don't-want-to-deal-with-drama-but-still-wanna-have-fun way because you don't have to do it by yourself, mutual masturbation is a primary sex act for a multitude of individuals and just as enjoyable as intercourse. Now I don't know what you're into but, just make sure you go about it in a healthy and safe way, k?

Now this isn't to say that everyone needs to masturbate or even have sex or achieve orgasm. Some people enjoy sex for the connection or purely the feel. I'm all about finding ways to do things safely and in an enjoyable manner because harm reduction: people will do it anyway, why not teach them how to do it right?

Soooo why are you still sitting there reading this?? 

It's still May. 

THERE'S STILL TIME! 

Get up and promote good health! 

*: Mary Roach's research indicates that a person must masturbate a maximum of 4 times a week to actually benefit from these facts given. Don't tire yourself out, spread it through the week YOU HAVE 7 DAYS.

Photo journal update

Just posted some more photos to my tumblr. Here's the link to go check that out and a sample.

Summer Jamz: "Don't worry we will be watching you" - Gotye

Everybody loved Gotye for his hit "Somebody that I used to know". I was into to at the time because obviously I was probably getting over some fuck person... I got over it quickly and moved closer to his other work. I'm in love with the slow and sultry sound he goes for. And I appreciate his voice above all things. He knows how to make it powerful when necessary but alo keep it to a calm level. My favorite thing to do is to blaze up and watch the trppiy ass video with all the lights off. I wouldn't recommend it if you have an over active imagination but for me, it's a part of my creative process. Watch it sober first then gage your method. Don't say I didn't warn you...

But also the song is just awesome and kind of talks about religion (in my opinion) which is why the video has religious undertones/connotations. Either way, fall in love with the sound and enjoy.

Photo journal

This blog has done so much for me creatively and has truly inspred me to dedicate my free time back to art. I've started taking pictures for a photo journal but my usual site I use has crashed and I don't care to wait for it to be fixed...

My creativity has no wait time!!!! 

So I'm going to use my tumblr or here or both to post my daily photos and because you all have inspired me to keep up with writing, I'm giving this as a gift. Thanks to all who follow and share my thoughts. I realize my writing is just a ranty mess sometimes, but you're great for sitting through it lol

But here's the start of my journal haha 

If I can figure out how to make this more artsy fartsy I will, but in the mean time just go check out my tumblr. It'll be more appealing there...