"Wild" right?

This is a little differnt but not really.

I recently had a conversation (against my better judgement as per usual) with this 22 year old guy who felt the need to try and have a "deep" conversation with me. I use the word in quotations because well.... If conversing was akin to bodies of water, my ocean would be to his puddle.

The conversation started with him asking me about a sexual experience that I'd brought up earlier in the discussion (because let's face it, I can be as smart as a whip, but nothing will matter more than if I can fuck or not) and based on my answers and experience he called me "wild".

I just stared.

Why use the word "wild" I asked. He said because in regular (dominant) culture, even though I don't perceive my behavior as abnormal or unusual, it's still taboo. I asked him to define taboo for me because really, what is taboo these days? He then proceeded to tell me he meant it as it's used in the dictionary. Of course little Sherrill read dictionaries as a hobby when she was a kid and holds a special place in her heart for paperback books but also has the dictionary app on her iPhone 5 C. So I looked up the definition just to be sure that I was right and his argument was indeed invalid.

Here it is, taboo: forbidden to profane use of contact because of what are held to be dangerous. There's nothing taboo about my behavior... I'm an adult and it's 2014. I let him know his jargon and terminology was a bit outdated and naturally he got offended. 

Because I'm a woman I'm only supposed to open my legs to one person. That one person being my boyfriend/husband. Because I'm a woman I'm not supposed to challenge his speech and judgement on my life. Because I'm a woman I'm not supposed to know anything about queer theory and how sex has no emotional ties whatsoever or that I'm not a vessel of reproduction. I'm not supposed to enjoy sex and be prideful when asked about my sexual experience. I'm supposed to know that my behavior is "out there" as he so put it. I explained to him that "regular culture" is bullshit and belittles the experience of so many cultures across the world. Dominant culture is a more acceptable term, "regular" and "normal" just shits on everyone else around and perpetuates this idea that women are "virginal" until defloured by the big bad penis monster (see Little Red Riding Hood).

There was no real point to this blog, I just felt like ranting about it. Overall, he had only had sex with one person and was intrigued that someone as myself, a woman, would openly speak about my experiences and not feel that they are dirty secrets.

I'm so sick of people trying to define themselves in relation to others. Because he hadn't done much I'm "wild", "out there' and partake in "taboo" behavior. He's a guy so naturally he's a (acceptable) whore and I'm pure? Fuck you random white guy. I like to fuck. Or as the joke in my queer theory class goes, I fuck therefore I am. I do what I want and it's not killing anyone. Maybe it's killing someones masculinty and chipping bits off of patriarchy but that's in my job description right?

“If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive.” -Audre Lorde.

Get your life together kid and have some life experiences. The world doesn't run on your definition of life. Ass.