Many summers ago, today, I had sex for the first time. It's a funny story but every summer I party or whatever. I like to recreate a better memory each year since the first time wasn't as special as most people played it up to be. From that experience, it's taken me to queer theory and how sex, love and relationships all have nothing to do with each other. It's educational each year I reflect on it.
This brings me to a few days ago. I woke up and checked Twitter (of course) and saw that a 16 year old girl had been drugged, raped, and her attacker documented her before and after the attack. That morning, it had gone viral after two months. Kids were spreading the pictures that were taken of her after the assault had in a specific pose calling it the "Jada pose". On top of that, she's been shamed and teased by her attacker and many others who she goes to school with along with adults who seem to think this is funny to share on the internet.
I was infuriated. I am infuriated.
A year ago today, as I was commemorating, I was raped. This brought her situation very close to home for me and I had to take a step back from the internet all together. While I feel that many people value my opinion, a million flame wars on every social media site would never capture the rage I feel for this subject.
I didn't talk about my rape for a long time. I remember once I decided to actually talk about it the first thing that was said to me was "what did you expect?". So I stayed silent. This girl was forced out of her silence with these pictures and chose to fight her battle with visibility. This brave 16 year old girl does not need people who look like her to be saying and doing the things they are doing to bring her down. People are even siding with the little boy who decided to live tweet his arrest and tweet "Bail money good" with a smiley face.
Now I can talk about rape culture 101 until I'm blue in the face. I can quote lines and definitions of why Jada's situation is being met with this type of hate speech, so on and so forth. But that's not what I want to talk about. Catch me on any given day and I'm talking about rape culture, it's what I'm in school for. I'm here to talk about this culture of silence that's killing our black children that we trust to take care of us once we get up there in age. It's the silence that's fueling this flame.
I recall a debate I brought up some time ago when the "Blurred Lines" issue was still a hot topic. Feminists were in a rage about Robin Thicke's song and lyrics. Millions of parodies were released gender bending making statements that may or may not have done more harm than good. Blurred lines was released July 12, 2013 (adding more to the dismay of this month). Meanwhile, R&B singer Miguel released "How many drinks" April 10, 2013 with vividly more perturbed lyrics and nobody said a fucking word. What I made of this is as long as Robin Thicke is a threat to white women in white bars talking about crossing lines he can't distinguish, it's totally fine if Miguel stays in black spaces and buys black women alcohol in a means to coerce them to sleep with him.
So what about Jada? Because Jada is a black girl, she gets ridiculed, taunted and her rape goes viral. We hear things like "She should've known better", "she was a ho that cried rape because she was exposed" "she's a thot" and all this unnecessary otherness. If this were the inverse, the entire black boys criminal record would be in question and all focus on his blackness would be on blast. There is simply no space to exist as a black girl or a black women.
Originally, nothing belonged to us. We were brought to this country and given a religion, given a sexuality, forced to reproduce, forced to work, our entire identity has never belonged to us and even in the wake of harassment, despair and travesty we can't even be given victimization. The culture of silence that was created by our ancestors is what made Jada's rape seem like a mock worthy event. Because no one ever talks about it, it's in the dark, it's dirty, it's a secret so be ashamed, we'll shame you for it. We don't talk about our own experiences. All of our lives are surrounded by those of white women. We know they're struggles, their successes. what's expected of them. how they deal with it and what move they're think of next. Because no one is talking to out black children about our experiences, Jada's experience was quickly belittled and exploited because we don't know this to be something that happens to little black girls. Or at least it ain't something we talk about.
Jade broke that silence.
Jada was just like me. She went somewhere expecting to have a good night. Sadly she couldn't trust the people around her. We're not saving each other so who will save us? Black women are at the bottom of the food chain with politics of responsibility running through our family like a bad biological disposition. Even if this little monster gets locked away for the rest of his teen years, Jada will still have to face those children she goes to school with. If she moves, her face and body has been plastered all over the internet and can be immediately recognized.
I saw this picture of three young women posing like Rosie the riveter taking back #JadaPose. I think this is a powerful and uplifting thing to do so that when people with ill intentions go to look for these harmful images of this girl vulnerable, layed splayed on the floor used. Instead of seeing that, they see powerful black and brown women showing their strength and courage yelling about their experiences in the faces of their oppressors and rapists. So I'm challenging every black, brown, and non-black or brown person to show support. Talk about your life. Talk about your experiences. It hurts like hell but you are human and have a right to exist in the skin you're in. Let other black and brown girls know that what happened to them isn't something to be silent about.
Scream with me. I was Jada. I am Jada.
I was infuriated. I am infuriated.
A year ago today, as I was commemorating, I was raped. This brought her situation very close to home for me and I had to take a step back from the internet all together. While I feel that many people value my opinion, a million flame wars on every social media site would never capture the rage I feel for this subject.
I didn't talk about my rape for a long time. I remember once I decided to actually talk about it the first thing that was said to me was "what did you expect?". So I stayed silent. This girl was forced out of her silence with these pictures and chose to fight her battle with visibility. This brave 16 year old girl does not need people who look like her to be saying and doing the things they are doing to bring her down. People are even siding with the little boy who decided to live tweet his arrest and tweet "Bail money good" with a smiley face.
Now I can talk about rape culture 101 until I'm blue in the face. I can quote lines and definitions of why Jada's situation is being met with this type of hate speech, so on and so forth. But that's not what I want to talk about. Catch me on any given day and I'm talking about rape culture, it's what I'm in school for. I'm here to talk about this culture of silence that's killing our black children that we trust to take care of us once we get up there in age. It's the silence that's fueling this flame.
I recall a debate I brought up some time ago when the "Blurred Lines" issue was still a hot topic. Feminists were in a rage about Robin Thicke's song and lyrics. Millions of parodies were released gender bending making statements that may or may not have done more harm than good. Blurred lines was released July 12, 2013 (adding more to the dismay of this month). Meanwhile, R&B singer Miguel released "How many drinks" April 10, 2013 with vividly more perturbed lyrics and nobody said a fucking word. What I made of this is as long as Robin Thicke is a threat to white women in white bars talking about crossing lines he can't distinguish, it's totally fine if Miguel stays in black spaces and buys black women alcohol in a means to coerce them to sleep with him.
So what about Jada? Because Jada is a black girl, she gets ridiculed, taunted and her rape goes viral. We hear things like "She should've known better", "she was a ho that cried rape because she was exposed" "she's a thot" and all this unnecessary otherness. If this were the inverse, the entire black boys criminal record would be in question and all focus on his blackness would be on blast. There is simply no space to exist as a black girl or a black women.
Originally, nothing belonged to us. We were brought to this country and given a religion, given a sexuality, forced to reproduce, forced to work, our entire identity has never belonged to us and even in the wake of harassment, despair and travesty we can't even be given victimization. The culture of silence that was created by our ancestors is what made Jada's rape seem like a mock worthy event. Because no one ever talks about it, it's in the dark, it's dirty, it's a secret so be ashamed, we'll shame you for it. We don't talk about our own experiences. All of our lives are surrounded by those of white women. We know they're struggles, their successes. what's expected of them. how they deal with it and what move they're think of next. Because no one is talking to out black children about our experiences, Jada's experience was quickly belittled and exploited because we don't know this to be something that happens to little black girls. Or at least it ain't something we talk about.
Jade broke that silence.
Jada was just like me. She went somewhere expecting to have a good night. Sadly she couldn't trust the people around her. We're not saving each other so who will save us? Black women are at the bottom of the food chain with politics of responsibility running through our family like a bad biological disposition. Even if this little monster gets locked away for the rest of his teen years, Jada will still have to face those children she goes to school with. If she moves, her face and body has been plastered all over the internet and can be immediately recognized.
I saw this picture of three young women posing like Rosie the riveter taking back #JadaPose. I think this is a powerful and uplifting thing to do so that when people with ill intentions go to look for these harmful images of this girl vulnerable, layed splayed on the floor used. Instead of seeing that, they see powerful black and brown women showing their strength and courage yelling about their experiences in the faces of their oppressors and rapists. So I'm challenging every black, brown, and non-black or brown person to show support. Talk about your life. Talk about your experiences. It hurts like hell but you are human and have a right to exist in the skin you're in. Let other black and brown girls know that what happened to them isn't something to be silent about.
Scream with me. I was Jada. I am Jada.
#JadaPose #IAmJada #SupportJada
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