Photo journal update

Just posted some more photos to my tumblr. Here's the link to go check that out and a sample.

Summer Jamz: "Don't worry we will be watching you" - Gotye

Everybody loved Gotye for his hit "Somebody that I used to know". I was into to at the time because obviously I was probably getting over some fuck person... I got over it quickly and moved closer to his other work. I'm in love with the slow and sultry sound he goes for. And I appreciate his voice above all things. He knows how to make it powerful when necessary but alo keep it to a calm level. My favorite thing to do is to blaze up and watch the trppiy ass video with all the lights off. I wouldn't recommend it if you have an over active imagination but for me, it's a part of my creative process. Watch it sober first then gage your method. Don't say I didn't warn you...

But also the song is just awesome and kind of talks about religion (in my opinion) which is why the video has religious undertones/connotations. Either way, fall in love with the sound and enjoy.

Photo journal

This blog has done so much for me creatively and has truly inspred me to dedicate my free time back to art. I've started taking pictures for a photo journal but my usual site I use has crashed and I don't care to wait for it to be fixed...

My creativity has no wait time!!!! 

So I'm going to use my tumblr or here or both to post my daily photos and because you all have inspired me to keep up with writing, I'm giving this as a gift. Thanks to all who follow and share my thoughts. I realize my writing is just a ranty mess sometimes, but you're great for sitting through it lol

But here's the start of my journal haha 

If I can figure out how to make this more artsy fartsy I will, but in the mean time just go check out my tumblr. It'll be more appealing there... 

Summer jamz: "Songs that remind me of you" Daley

This song pisses me off, makes me sad and dance all at the same time. And anyone who knows me knows that if I can't find every single human emotion possible in one thing, then I do not like it. I learned of this artist while surfing vines on Facebookd (Facebook is a weird hub of media if I can find VINES there amirite???). His voice and style is somewhat akin to Sam Smith in that his voice is full of raw emotion and soul. And he's also from the UK and talented as fuck... But this song couldn't have come at a better time. My heart had just been shattered into pieces and the lyrics to this song spoke to me in the midst of all that darkness. It was literally my life (and I won't lie, kinda still is). Go here and check it out now!!!

Summer Jamz: "Messy Mix #4" - Eton Messy

I looooove EDM, electronica, house, all the stereotypical gay boy dance music... And the Messy Mixes have come to cure my dance fever (or make it worse? I suffer from logic). I'm not sure how many mixes there are but Messy Mix #4 is the one that gets me pumped each time! I've found some of my favorite artists inside of these mixes along with Disclosure, Alguna George, Brandy and Monica. This Dj knows how to put the rights songs together over synthesized sounds and beats. The songs ar wup to 14 minutes long but I promise you every second is worth it and never stops the party! Go here and play it at your next rave (if you're into that sorta thing) and watch the crowd pulsate to the rhythm of Eton Messy.

Caution: Sassy polyamory ahead.

I've been meaning to talk about this for some time... I wanted to do it in the form of a Facebook post but I loathe Facebook and barely log in to see responses unless I'm expecting them.

Still, I'm busy....

Many people around me know my relationship orientation is polyamorous. I'm an open book and will answer most questions about polyamory if it's coming from a place of genuine interest, not to pin point who I may be sleeping with at the time. What frustrates more is that I'm surrounded by people who are forever on soap boxes about how no one does their own research to find out about their identities yet I'm met with that same ignorance

Take your own advice people, google some shit. 

To me, polyamory is a non-monogamous situation in which I don't hold any relationship I have with anyone in a hierarchy. My friends, romantic partners, and family members (the ones I actually fuck with...) all receive the same type of affection and attention from me. That means that should I start seeing someone romantically today, I won't pretend like they're the only person that exists. That also means that going to the movies with my best friend is not a date opposed to going to the movies with someone I'm sexually attracted to. Most people say it's about intention and expectation and I agree. But at the end of the day my intention is to hang out with someone and the expectation is to have a good time no matter what that entails.

Why polyamory?

 I don't believe in limiting myself. Monogamous situations have never worked for me because I'm interested in people. I know that I say I hate people (A LOT) and yes to some degree I do. But, I do get intrigued by people and I want to know them. Why should I feel guilty for wanting to know a person if I'm seeing someone? 'All of your attention should be on one person' has never made any sense to me and I found that I was only hurting those who were interesting in "settling down" with me.

If we are capable of loving family members equally and get pissed when "favoritism" happens, then what's so different about romantic partners?

But I digress. I won't take this opportunity to have a bitch session about hetero mono normativity because we all know I can go there and never come back... I want to take this time to address some of the things I've been hearing from peers.

My best friend, life partner and sorority sister and I are super close. And because we're both queer, everyone automatically assumed "well they're sleeping together obviously because they both like women and there's no way they can keep their lesbian urges under control". The shit hit the fan when she started seeing her partner. And because we're all queer and poly people just clumped us all together in a poly relationship because we have dubbed ourselves a poly family.

We think it's hilarious how everyone assumed that, yet no one's asked or bothered to even be remotely decent about our privacy. We fed into everyone's curiosity and have just started saying yes we are all dating each other because why the hell not? Ask a silly question get a silly answer. But something that I've heard that has been bothering me is this idea that since my best friend and her partner are in a committed poly relationship and I'm not, they are my parents and I'm like they're child.

Let's unpack that... 

First and foremost, I'm older than both of them so that's insane... And by saying that because they're in a relationship and I'm not, somehow there's an immaturity to my character because I'm not in a committed relationship. It's insulting to insinuate because I haven't "found someone" that I'm less evolved. Being in a poly relationship takes just as much, if not more, commitment and dedication than a monogamous relationship. So to have my peers tell me they respect me as a person, value my opinions but turn around and then say that I'm emotionally immature is kind of disheartening.

We all bring something different to our relationship and to say I am the child pretty much means I give them nothing and only receive what they have to offer and give. To be in a poly relationship there's a lot of communication. Not just talking but listening, understanding, processing, learning and unlearning. Most people in a monogamous situation can't communicate a chore wheel yet you want to tell me what I'm incapable of doing with my poly family after you first assumed we were all sleeping together because your shallow mind can't fathom that women who love other women can't be friends without fucking???

I will never understand this obsession with other people's genitals that society has... 

Either way, they are not my poly superiors; I am not inferior because I'm not seeing anyone. And also because we are open to the possibility of dating multiple people, don't assume that it's a 24/7 orgy that everyone is invited to. Don't assume that my identity is all about sex. We are more complex with more depth. If your thought process can't go beyond sex then that's a personal ideal you shouldn't project on others.

I could give a laundry list of reasons why I'm not seeing anyone romantically right now. Or I could be and you'd never know because you're too busy letting your preconceived notions tell you what my sexual habits may or may not be because your narrowed sense of judgement won't allow you to ask realistic and non-offensive questions (bottom line it's no one's business but whateva...) I don't believe in explaining myself to anyone because my existence is just as valid as anyone else's but this rubbed me all types of wrong. Especially because I heard it from so many people that are close to me.

So now that we've cleared that up, any questions? 

Summer jamz: "Impress you" B. Steady

Anyone who knows me know how much I love this soul.. Like actually LOVE her. She did a house concert here in New Orleans (at my ex's house...my life man lol) and I was so star stuck I couldn't talk to her. That andI have social anxiety... But she's from D.C. Aide from making music she does films and art. She's incredibly beautiful and is giving queer women of color the soundtrack we so desparately been waiting for. Impress you is so totally my life because I'm so bad at talking to women. I find myself having to do aomething extra to be like hey girl, don't lose interest. I'm still kinda cool. Still date me maybe? Now I can use this song as a cheesy conversation piece. Or just play it and dance awkwardly in boy shorts and a t-shirt. Reasons why I'm single... But check her out here if this is also your life. Shaaaaare with meeeee